


Somewhere Only We Know

by flowerfan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types
Genre: A little angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Fluff, M/M, Post-Civil War, Rare Pair, Romance, So does Bruce, Steve is off with Thor, not enough bruce/bucky out there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-05 21:33:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11586612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerfan/pseuds/flowerfan
Summary: Bucky wakes up in Wakanda and finds love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't find a single Bucky/Bruce fic on A03, and this happened...
> 
> The fic is fully written, and will be posted over the next week or so.

Bucky comes to slowly, the chill from cryo hard to shake. He hears soft music, and quiet voices. When he can finally open his eyes, he scans the room for Steve, and tries not to ignore the stab of disappointment when he realizes he isn't there.

The Wakandan doctors smile gently and respectfully, but it's all medical talk for a while - they've found a way to de-trigger him, he seems to have suffered no harm in cryo, they'll run some tests as soon as he's more fully awake. No one tells him what he actually wants to know - where is everyone? What's happened while he's been out? - but he can't bring himself to ask any questions, not when they are treating him so kindly, and everything feels so floaty. It doesn't seem quite real.

After a time, when the doctors have left him to rest, there's a knock on the door. It opens slowly to reveal a slight man with glasses. He's got dark curly hair, graying at the edges, and looks mildly uncomfortable.

"Excuse me," the man says. "If you're feeling up to it, may I speak with you?"

"Sure," Bucky, says, his voice hoarse.

The man comes inside and perches himself on the edge of a chair near Bucky's bed.

"I'm Dr. Banner. Bruce." The man pauses, as if waiting for Bucky to figure it out - and then he does.

The Hulk. Great. Apparently mere mortals aren't enough to restrain Bucky.

Bruce apparently sees the distress in Bucky's eyes and a flash of embarrassment flickers across his face. "I'm responsible for the process we're going to use to remove your triggers. I wanted to go over the concept with you first, in case you had any concerns."

The Hulk figured out how to cure him? Bucky groans audibly, and presses his remaining hand to his face. Talk about jumping to conclusions. What an ungrateful bastard he is. They should have left him in cryo.

"Sergeant Barnes? Are you in pain?"

That name again. It's been too long since he was Sergeant of anything. 

"Call me Bucky." Bucky peers through his fingers at Bruce, and then blinks at himself in amazement. "And, um, no. I'm not in pain." Which isn't exactly par for the course when it comes to being defrosted.

"You sound surprised."

"I kind of am."

Bruce smiles, just a little thing. "I'm glad to hear that. Coming out of cryo can be rough, if not done right."

Bucky considers him, this soft-spoken man who, according to popular belief, is nothing more than a rage monster. "Any chance you had something to do with how they brought me out this time?"

Bruce ignores his question, not impolitely, and holds up a tablet Bucky hadn't even seen. "Let's talk about what to expect tomorrow."

It doesn't take long - Bruce has developed some kind of biochemical process which sounds like magic, but Bucky supposes all science trends that way these days. They pause when King T'challa comes in to wish Bucky well. He doesn't linger, and he hands Bucky an honest to god paper letter on his way out. "Captain Rogers asked me to see that you received this," he says, but Bucky knows. He'd recognize Steve's handwriting anywhere.

"Bucky?" Bruce says tentatively, as if trying out the name. "Are you okay?"

Bucky isn't sure how he's going to open the letter with only one hand, but he is anxious to figure it out. "Just curious about what the hell is going on, is all."

"No one told you?"

Bucky feels a tremor of fear go through him as he shakes his head.

"Everyone's fine," Bruce says quickly. "Steve, and... everyone. But the accords are still a problem, and the, uh, 'Team Cap' folks still can't go back to the U.S. Other countries have relented, some have pulled back from the accords, but the States are being run by a difficult bunch right now. So when Thor asked for Steve's help, he went."

Bucky parses through this information. "So Steve's not...?"

Bruce delivers the news with a touch of wry humor. "Not on Earth, no. I'm very sorry." He touches a hand briefly to where Bucky is gripping the letter from Steve. "Why don't you read that? Text me if you want to talk, after." Bruce sets a fancy looking cell phone down on the table next to Bucky's head. "This has got my number in it, and your doctors, and some of the staff. You can ask any of us anything you want." He grins a little. "It's got some games, too. In case you get bored."

Bucky smiles back. This guy isn't half bad, he thinks. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Bruce stands up and turns to leave the room. 

"Wait - Doctor Banner?"

Bruce looks embarrassed again. "Call me Bruce, please."

"Bruce. How long has it been?"

Bucky sees Bruce straighten his shoulders, as if steeling himself. "Five years. And a month."

*****  
Bucky allows himself a good pity sulk for a few minutes before he rips the letter open with his teeth. Five years. Five years to figure out how to take the grenade out of his head. He wants to be angry at Steve for not waking him up sooner, just to shoot the shit or go save the world together or something. But that's not what Bucky asked for. Damn Steve and his principled sculpted abs.

Five years. No wonder Steve got antsy and took off with Thor. Not that he's jealous, or anything. Maybe Thor can get Steve to loosen up. Bucky never really managed it.

Finally he unfolds the letter and starts to read.

_Dear Buck,_

_Hopefully you're going to read this soon. Bruce says he's really close to a cure, and I believe him. I wish I could be there when you wake up, but trust me, Bruce is the best. He'll make sure you're treated right._

_King T'challa says he'll try to get a message to me when it's done, but I can't promise I'll be able to be in touch. I'm working with Thor on this interplanetary peace plan (doesn't that sound crazy?) and apparently calling home isn't that simple from other worlds. But I'll try._

_In the meantime, do whatever you need to do. I don't know how long I'll be gone, or if I'll be able to come back. The world kind of has it out for me right now. But you can stay in Wakanda safely as long as you want, or fly under the radar somewhere else, you've always been better at that than me._

_Even with you still fast asleep, it's hard to leave you. But I know you're in good hands with Bruce. He showed up about a year ago - none of us had seen him in forever, he just disappeared - and announced that he wanted to help. Specifically, he wanted to help you. He never really came out and said why, but Sam got him taking one night and he thinks your situation is more than just a puzzle to Bruce. Somehow, it's something personal to him. Anyway, given that the man is not only one of the nicest people I know, but also a genius and capable of fighting off armies single handedly, I feel okay leaving you with him._

_I've missed the shit out of you these past years. It was hard, with you here, but not, you know? Got under my skin, sometimes. Clint got frustrated with me, took off for who knows where, he keeps moving around. Natasha and Sam became pretty close, they're running some kind of super secret ops for T'challa. Wanda's off with Vision. They all keep in touch, there's no hard feelings._

_Bucky, no matter what, I will always be so, so, grateful that you're alive. I don't regret anything. Don't you, either. You've got another chance - please, live your life. Find something (or someone) to love. Find a way, for me, all right?_

_'Til the end of the line (I had to say it) -_

_Steve_

Bucky reads it again, and then a third time. He realizes that his whole "safer for everyone if I just go hide out in cryo" approach may have shot them both in the foot, in a way even super soldiers may not recover from all that quickly. But for all Steve's drama, he really doesn't think Steve's sworn off Earth forever. And maybe now that Bucky's awake he can work out some kind of deal to get the price off Steve's head. Damn idiot probably had some kind of moral qualms about negotiating with a government who wanted to kill his childhood friend. Bucky doesn't have that kind of problem.

A nurse comes in to check on him, and Bucky closes his eyes, just meaning to doze. When he opens them it's the next morning, and Bruce is there, talking quietly with two doctors in colorful scrubs. Bruce is wearing the same kind of clothes he had on the day before - loose gray pants and a wrinkled white linen shirt. He looks relaxed, calm. 

"Good morning," he says, coming over to Bucky's side. He starts to explain, again, what they'll be doing, and Bucky pushes down his nerves. This can't be the worst thing he's been through, not by a long shot.

Bruce pauses, his eyes widening just a little. He touches Bucky's arm, careful but firm. "Bucky?"

"Yeah?"

"This isn't going to hurt."

Bucky shrugs. "No, it's fine, I can take it, I-"

"No, I mean it. It won't hurt."

Bucky stares at him, remembering their conversation the day before about coming out of cryo. "What, you got something against pain?" Bucky asks, striving for humor.

"I do, actually."

Bruce holds his gaze for a long moment, then squeezes his arm and steps away. Bucky kind of wishes he would have stayed.

Three hours, four injections, and a bunch of stressful questions later, it's over. 

"Really?" Bucky asks again. The doctors and nurses have cleared out, leaving just him and Bruce in the room. 

"Really." Bruce stares at Bucky for a minute, and then pushes a button on the side of the bed. Bucky holds still as the head of the bed rises, sitting him up.

"You know," Bruce says conversationally, "there's a patio with a spectacular view on the west side of the building. I think the cafe's still open. They make a great tofu curry, if you like that kind of thing."

Bucky sits himself up further, and tries to figure out if Bruce is pulling his leg. "I don't think I've ever had tofu."

Bruce holds out his hand and steadies Bucky as he climbs out of bed. "They make other things too."

"No, I, um, want to try something new."


	2. Chapter 2

They develop a bit of a routine over the next week. Bucky is apparently in remarkably good shape for someone who hasn't moved in five years. He refrains from pointing out that if he hadn't been able to retain muscle mass during previous cryo periods, he wouldn't have been much good to Hydra. But every day he goes along with physical therapy anyway, then spends a few hours in the gym sparring with T'challa's people. If nothing else, he's getting used to moving with only one arm. It's challenging, but not as bad as he had imagined. 

By mid-afternoon he showers and changes, pulls his hair into a little bun, and waits for Bruce to stick his head around the door from the living area they share. While Bucky was in cryo T'challa had converted a whole section of the compound for the otherwise homeless Avengers. There's a good sized room with couches and a table, with six bedrooms surrounding it in a half circle. It's even got a little kitchen. The room that Steve had used is almost empty, but there's a framed street map of Brooklyn on the wall, and a folder in a drawer with some sketches - of the Wakandan skyline, and of Bucky in the cryo chamber. Bucky stops looking after he sees that one.

Most days Bucky goes go for a walk with Bruce before dinner. Wakanda is beautiful, and Bruce has found all sorts of places he eagerly shares with Bucky, from corners of the noisy and modern city to peaceful clearings in the forest.

Bucky's been awake for a few weeks when he finally gets up the nerve to move beyond small talk and ask Bruce about something real. They're sitting next to a shining pond, right where a waterfall runs into it, and the sound of the water striking the pond's surface is soothing, like rain falling on a roof. 

Bucky looks at Bruce, who is staring into the falling water, and taps his knee to get his attention. "Bruce? Can I ask you something?"

Bruce turns to him, raising an eyebrow. "You mean, in addition to what you just asked?"

"Ha ha." Bucky nudges him with his leg. "You're a riot."

"That's what people say." Bruce shrugs. "Sorry. Can't help it. Go ahead, ask."

"Why are you here?" Bucky asks.

Bruce doesn't seem surprised at the question. "Do you mean cosmically, or...?"

Bucky laughs. "Does Steve know you've got sass? He likes people with sass."

Now Bruce's expression falters. "Steve... well..." He rubs the back of his neck. "He's part of the reason, I guess."

Bucky's stomach clenches. "Did he ask you to - to babysit me?"

"What? No. Definitely not. It, um, it actually took some convincing for him to let me stay."

"Why?"

Bruce looks uncomfortable. "He, um, wanted to make sure I was safe."

"Oh. Guess he's right. I'm pretty much the worst, when it comes to pissing people off. And if you get pissed off, I guess that's bad." Danger to everyone, it might as well be Bucky's tag line.

"I think it was the other way around, actually."

Bucky shifts, moving to catch Bruce's gaze. "What do you mean?"

Bruce sighs. "I had been hiding out for four years. I didn't help with the whole accords mess. I didn't help get Natasha and everyone out of the raft. Steve was a little suspicious of me. Wasn't sure of my motives. He didn't want anyone that might hurt you getting too close."

"He thought you'd hurt me?"

"He's a little protective of you, you may have noticed?" Bruce hazards a grin, which disappears as quickly as it came. "Anyway, Steve came around. We talked a lot. And Steve saw how I was able to make a lot of progress with the other guy while I was away. We're on better terms now. No surprise visits."

Bucky huffs and shakes his head.

"What? You don't believe me?"

"No, um - until this conversation, right now, I had, um, forgotten."

"Forgotten?"

Bucky feels like an idiot, but it's true. "About the - other guy." Bruce looks sort of stunned, and Bucky rushes to explain. "Not like brain washed forgot, just, you know... you're not like him at all."

Bruce's expression has shifted from stunned to simply mildly dazed. "I am him. That's part of what I figured out."

"Well then he's obviously not so bad, either."

It might be the sunset, but Bucky thinks Bruce's cheeks go just a little pink.

They're back at T'challa's compound, saying goodnight in the hallway outside Bucky's room, when Bucky realizes it. "You never answered my question."

Bruce frowns. "Yeah. Sorry." He wraps his arms around his waist. "Rain check?"

Bucky doesn't like the troubled look on Bruce's face. "Of course. Hey -"

Bruce turns back to him, still nervous. 

"You don't need to tell me," Bucky says, searching for the right words. "It's obviously... personal? You don't need to tell me anything."

"It's not that big a deal, it's just-"

"Bruce. You don't have to tell me."

Bruce's whole body relaxes, his hands falling to his sides. "Thanks."

They say their good nights, again, and Bucky goes into his bedroom. He may not be the poster boy for tact, but he understands privacy. He's not going to push. If Bruce has his own reasons for wanting to hang out in Wakandan wonderland with the the misfit toys of Cap's team, that's his right. Bucky's just glad he gets to enjoy his company in the meantime.

And before he can think about how sad he will be when Bruce leaves - because everyone leaves, eventually - he closes his eyes and counts backwards from a thousand in Swahili until he falls asleep.

*****

A few weeks later, Bucky comes back from the gym to find Sam and Natasha are there, sitting in the living area with Bruce. Sam gets up from the couch and bounds right over to him, a warm smile splitting his handsome face.

Bucky tenses as he gets close, nervous all of a sudden, and Sam slows to a stop. "I'll give you a hug when you're not so sweaty," he says lightly, obviously seeing Bucky's discomfort but not wanting to draw attention to it.

Natasha doesn't notice, though, or maybe she just doesn't care. "Hey there, soldier," she says, giving his cheek a quick peck. "Nice to see you up and about."

They all settle back down, urging Bucky to hurry up and shower so that they can go get dinner. Sam has a favorite place in the city he insists Bucky will love, although Natasha rolls her eyes at his exuberance. "He just likes it because it has a jukebox," she drawls. "The man would eat frozen dinners if he could listen to crappy hits from the 60's at the same time."

Bucky sighs a breath of relief as he closes the bathroom door behind him. Despite himself, he wonders how long they'll be staying. He's gotten used to his quiet time alone with Bruce in the evenings. Bruce has this air of calm about him that works its way into Bucky's skin just by being nearby. And Bruce, for whatever reason, seems to like being around Bucky, too. His eyes lose their hint of sadness when he sees Bucky. Making him drop that serious demeanor and laugh... well, it feels pretty nice.

He puts on some of his new clothes - a pair of slim fitting jeans and a dark blue button up. The shirt doesn't look quite the way he had hoped it would, with the left sleeve rolled and pinned, so he tugs it off and dons a more familiar black t-shirt. At least his ass looks good, he thinks, giving himself a once over in the mirror before going back out to join the group. 

Bucky catches Bruce giving him a look as they head out - Bruce apparently thinks his ass looks good too. Bruce is dressed up a bit as well, wearing a tweedy blazer over a blue shirt, with gray slacks. Bucky smiles at him, straightening the collar of his blazer as they get into the car. Bruce gives him a shy smile back. It's almost enough to take Bucky's mind off the fact that he has to get through the rest of the night with Sam and Natasha. 

It's not that they're bad people. He knows they're not only more than decent, they've both risked their lives to help him - or help Steve, and as a result help him. But they're still strangers. Bucky's used to most people feeling like strangers, but that doesn't mean he likes it. Somehow Bruce managed to slip right through and become a friend. Bucky knows, logically, that this can happen with Sam and Nat, too. He's just not all that thrilled about the process.

The restaurant does indeed have a little jukebox at every table. They slide into a booth, Sam and Natasha on one side and Bruce and Bucky on the other. Bucky winds up on the inside, which makes him a little claustrophobic, but has the advantage of being next to the jukebox. He messes with Sam, racing to program random songs that they are forced to listen to before they get to Sam's picks, and it cracks everyone up.

After their food comes and Sam finally stops pouting, Natasha asks the question Bucky has been dreading all night. "So, Bucky. Any plans?"

Natasha winces, and from the frown on Sam's face, Bucky's pretty sure it's because Sam kicked her under the table.

"It's only been a little while, Nat," Sam says. "Geez. Give the guy a break."

Bucky feels Bruce's hand land lightly on his thigh, a reassuring presence he hadn't known he would welcome as much as he does. "No plans yet."

"Gonna go join Steve on his mission to save the universe?" Nat asks, undeterred.

"Don't think I'm invited."

That silences the group. Not even the arrival of their oversized desserts can completely lighten the mood.

Walking back to their car, Sam falls into step next to Bucky. "Steve cares a lot about you."

Bucky huffs out a laugh. "I know, Sam."

"He just..." Sam pauses, struggling for words. 

"I know, believe me, I do." Bucky's been through this a million times. "Steve's gotta go where the bullies are. He needs to fight the good fight. If things were getting cloudy here, if he wasn't sure which way was up, I'm not surprised he went looking for a less abstract big bad."

"Even if it means leaving you?"

Bucky looks at Sam, a little surprised. "Despite what that Smithsonian exhibit said, we're not actually attached at the hip. I'm not in mortal danger, he's not in mortal danger... we can probably stumble on without each other for a while."

Bucky knows the next question Sam's going to ask before it comes out of his mouth. "You mean... You and Steve aren't... together?"

It's funny the way things have changed. Back in the forties, it would have been shocking to confess that he and his best friend were banging - now everyone is more surprised that they're not. "Nope. Never were. Not like that."

Bucky stops as they reach the car, and Natasha almost crashes into him from behind. Bruce is next to her, looking shamefaced.

"Eavesdrop much?" Bucky asks.

Bruce starts to apologize, but Bucky interrupts him. "Nah, don't sweat it. It's no secret." He looks around the group. "All this time, if you were curious, why didn't you guys just ask Steve?"

Sam sighs. "We did. He told us you weren't together, but we just thought he was being shy, or respecting your privacy."

"Or still closeted," Natasha adds. "Even though we kept telling him it was okay."

"And showed him every LGBTQ-friendly show on the planet," says Sam. "Have you seen Queer as Folk? It's a little outdated, but it's awesome."

"How about we continue this conversation back home?" Bruce asks, shepherding them into the car.

Sam keeps talking about Queer as Folk on the way back, and some musical called Hedwig that he starts playing the music from, but Bucky tunes him out. He's watching Bruce, who is twisting his hands together, staring unhappily at his lap.

He leans over and bumps his shoulder against Bruce. "Hey. You okay?"

Bruce nods. "Yeah."

Bucky wasn't born yesterday, he thinks, then laughs internally at his own joke. "Bruce? Don't stress. I'm not upset."

"That wasn't right, they shouldn't have..."

"What? Asked about me and Steve? I'm kind of surprised you haven't asked."

Bruce's head snaps up and he stares at Bucky, eyes wide in the dim light of the back seat. "Wh-why would you say that?"

But before Bucky can answer - and he has no idea what he would have said, so it's just as well - Natasha is twisting around in her seat talking about plans for the next day, and the moment, whatever it was, is gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky hides out in his room a little too much over the next few days, and then one morning when he goes to the gym, it's empty. No Dora Milaje to spar with in sight. Instead, as he should have expected would happen eventually, Natasha is there.

She turns out to be quite a challenging partner. 

At one point, as Bucky lies panting on the ground, having just been swung around and tossed on the floor by the power of Natasha's thighs, she pats him congenially on his metal shoulder. "Not bad for a guy with one arm."

"Not bad for a lady with no tact."

Natasha laughs. "You can't say you didn't enjoy this."

Bucky turns on his side and looks at Nat. She's grinning widely, breathing a bit heavily herself, her long red hair coming out of its careful plait. Bucky kind of loves it. “Nah, I can't."

"So will you come out of your hobbit hole tonight?" she asks. "I think Bruce's about to gnaw his fingernails off. And it takes a lot to shake him, these days."

Shit. Bucky wants to sink right through the high tech floor mats. 

"Do you not see it?" Natasha asks, her voice gone soft. "He-"

"Don't," Bucky interrupts. "I - just, don't."

Natasha snorts at him and then jumps to her feet in one graceful movement. "Fine, have it your way. Chicken." She leaves him alone on the floor, still trying to catch his breath. 

A few minutes later, instead of heading back to his room for a shower, Bucky goes to the café that Bruce brought him to that first night. As he suspected, Bruce is out on the patio, typing away on his computer. He says the place has just the right amount of background noise to help him focus. And the wifi connection is good.

Bucky approaches him slowly, not wanting to startle him, but Bruce’s attention is focused on his screen. He’s wearing one of his slightly rumpled linen shirts, and his curls are blowing in the light breeze. "Hey," Bucky says, taking the chair on Bruce's left. Bruce looks up and a smile spreads across his face. 

"Bucky. Hi." Bruce ducks his head, and then looks back up, shy. "Come from the gym?"

Bucky's still in his sweat-soaked tank top and yoga pants, and he doesn't even care. "Yeah. I, um, just wanted to talk to you."

Bruce's smile grows even wider. "Oh?"

The warm wind feels great on Bucky's overheated body, but nothing makes him feel as good as Bruce smiling at him. Oh god, he thinks, I've got it bad.

Focus, he tells himself, and he leans forward, hand reaching to touch Bruce's elbow. "If you won't miss Nat and Sam too much, I was wondering if you wanted to do something together this afternoon. Just you and me."

Something hopeful flickers across Bruce’s face, but then fades as he second guesses himself. "I know it's a lot, for you,” he says in his understanding way. “Having them here. You don't have to socialize with them all the time."

"No, that's not what I mean. I mean, it is a lot, but..." Words are so hard. Bucky takes a deep breath and tries again. "It's not just that I don't want to hang out with them. It's that I want to hang out with you."

The hopeful look returns to Bruce's face, and his eyes shine behind his glasses. "Well. Okay, yeah. I'd like that."

"Okay." Bucky stands, his hand sliding up to Bruce's shoulder, and he gives him a little squeeze before he lets go. "It's really nice out today. I thought we might go back to that pond?"

Bruce runs his fingers through his hair, giving himself a moment to think. "There's an even bigger waterfall, if you don't mind hiking a little further? I think you'd like it."

Bucky smiles. "Sounds great."

The hike is more strenuous than any path he's taken with Bruce before, but the man barely breaks as sweat as they climb. Bucky realizes he doesn't have much of a clue as to Bruce's powers, if you can call them that. Does the Hulk give him any strength, even when he's still in human form? Or is Bruce just in really good shape? Either way, it does things to Bucky, watching Bruce, slight as he is, easily make his way up a steep rise in the trail. 

When they reach the top of the waterfall, they collapse in a large clearing. There’s a spectacular view of the falls and the rainforest below. Bucky brought a pack with a blanket and he spreads it out so they can lounge in relative comfort. As he pulls a container of juice and sandwiches out of the bag, Bruce laughs softly.

"What?"

"You made a picnic," Bruce says, a hint of disbelief in his voice. He sits up and crosses his legs, his cargo shorts pulling up to reveal muscular thighs.

"Well, yeah." Bucky fights off the wave of embarrassment that comes over him. Had he read too much into this? 

Bruce peers into the bag and pulls out two more small boxes. He opens one, and smiles at the cupcake inside.

"They're vegan," Bucky mutters. "Guy at the store said they were good. One's mocha, the other's red velvet, you can pick whichever one you want, I'm fine with-"

Bucky's rambling is interrupted when Bruce rises to his knees and places a soft, tentative kiss on Bucky's lips. Bucky freezes, then sighs into it, his mouth falling open just enough to encourage Bruce to continue for another beat. When Bruce pulls back, his hand on Bucky's metal shoulder, Bucky leans in and kisses him back for real, his own hand finding Bruce's waist and holding him close.

A few minutes later, Bucky rests his head on Bruce's shoulder, just holding still, breathing in the scent of Bruce's skin. Bruce has one arm around Bucky's back, and he brings the other up to join it, pulling Bucky in close.

"I wasn't sure..." Bucky starts, and Bruce huffs a nervous laugh.

"I wasn't either."

"But-" Bucky bites his lip. "This is - this is good, right? You - you want this?"

Bruce pulls back and looks at Bucky, his brown eyes shining with hope. "I do. If you do."

Bucky leans his forehead against Bruce's. "I do."

They sit there quietly for a few minutes, but it's not the most comfortable position. Bruce shifts, sitting up and crossing his legs, his eyes flicking back and forth to Bucky's face. He's so clearly nervous, it twists Bucky's stomach.

"Something bothering you?" Bucky asks, sliding his hand to rest it on Bruce's knee. "You can tell me."

Bruce smiles ruefully. "I do want this," he says slowly. "You. But... I’m not sure it's a good idea."

A flash of hurt spikes through Bucky. "Oh."

"Not because of you," Bruce continues, but Bucky doesn't want to hear it.

"No, it's not you, it's me, whatever." Bucky leaps up, about to take off back down the path, embarrassment and shame flooding his mind.

"Bucky - wait, please." Bruce jumps to his feet and reaches a hand out to Bucky, imploring. "It's truly not you. You’re… god, you’re amazing. Please, just listen, okay?"

The anguish in Bruce's voice is hard to hear, but it cuts through Bucky's impending spiral of humiliation. "Yeah, okay."

Bruce gestures to an outcropping of rock a few dozen yards away. "Come over here."

They climb up and sit, feet hanging over the edge, looking out over the green expanse of forest to the city in the distance.

“Is it because you… you could turn into…?” Bucky doesn’t know how to say it without offending Bruce, but Bruce doesn’t seem to care.

“No, I’ve got that under control. Intimacy isn’t off limits any more, for all the good it’s done me,” Bruce says. 

“Then what is it?" Bucky hasn’t felt this nervous in a long time.

There’s a pause, and Bruce takes in a long breath, then lets it out slowly. "I wasn't Team Cap," Bruce starts. "I never intended to be."

"I know, you said you stayed out of it all."

Bruce rubs his palms on his thighs. "Not really, not after… after Tony and Steve fought, I reached out to Tony. I was worried about him. We kept in touch... I helped him with some research projects, some scientific work, that kind of thing. I told him if things ever got heated again, I'd try to do what I could to back him up."

"Against Steve and me."

"Yeah."

Bucky studies Bruce, a picture of regret even in profile. "What changed?"

"About a year ago, a little more, I saw your file."

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut, trying to suppress the sick feeling he gets when he realizes yet another person has become privy to the details of his horrific past.

"I was stunned," Bruce continues. "And - mad. Angry. Furious. In a way I hadn't let myself be in a long time."

"At me?" Bucky says, his voice small.

"No," Bruce replies firmly, "Not at you. Of course not at you. At Tony. At Hydra, too, and all the people who treated you like a - a thing-" Bruce stutters and swallows hard. "But I was especially mad at Tony. I thought I knew him. I trusted him. And yet, when it came to you, he was oblivious. Blind."

"So Stark's an asshole. Hardly news."

Bruce shifts and turns to Bucky. "Do you know how many people the ‘other guy’ has killed? How many people have been injured, how many lives and families destroyed, by me?" He shakes his head. "It's a big number. How could Tony claim to accept that, to understand, and yet insist that you were the enemy? Suddenly Tony's entire premise when it came to you seemed flawed. How could I trust him?" Bruce rubs his face, and takes a few slow, deep breaths. When he begins speaking again, his voice is quieter.

"The more I thought about it, the more ashamed I became. Tony said he cared about Steve, that Steve's so-called betrayal could never be forgiven. But if Tony cared so much about him, why couldn't he recognize that Steve's willingness to sacrifice everything for you was something he should respect?"

Bruce sighs. "Anyway, that's when I raided Stark Industries' files for anything that might help, and came here."

Bucky tries to understand what Bruce has told him. It makes him more than a little uncomfortable, being the source of yet another fall-out between the former Avengers. But Stark hating Bucky isn't really news.

"So... We shouldn't get together because you're wanted for stealing Stark’s propriety information?" Bucky asks, earning a bitter laugh from Bruce.

"No, that's probably not our biggest challenge." 

Bucky leans his shoulder against Bruce, and waits for him to go on.

"I just...” Bruce pauses, shaking his head. “Don't you think it's a little convenient? Creepy, even?"

"That you made me a real boy, to spite your ex-bestie, and now you expect me to fall into your arms with gratitude?"

Bruce tenses, and Bucky cups his cheek, turning his face towards his own. "Hey. I'm joking."

Bruce blinks hard. "But what if it's true?"

Bucky laughs, and Bruce just stares at him in mild astonishment. "I don't much care what your motivation was, when you decided to figure out how to reverse my triggers. I'm grateful you did it, regardless. Who knows how much longer I’d have been sleeping if you hadn’t. But you don’t have to worry about manipulating me. My mind's been my own for years, now, more or less. And I like you, Bruce. I like you a lot. You’re funny, and sweet, and you see me the way not many people do. And even with that, even with what you know…” Bucky rubs his thumb across Bruce’s cheekbone, and Bruce lets his eyes fall close for a moment. “I think you genuinely like me, too."

"I really do," Bruce whispers, opening his eyes and gazing at Bucky.

"Then don't worry so much about how we got here, okay? Let's just relax and see where it goes."

Then tension flows out of Bruce's body, and a hesitant smile pulls at his lips. "I'd like that."

"Good." Bucky leans into Bruce, his hand still on his cheek, and presses a soft kiss to his lips. Bruce kisses back, then chokes out a laugh and wraps his arms tight around Bucky's shoulders. "This really shouldn't be happening," Bruce says, happiness evident in his voice. 

"Story of my life, pal." Bucky nips at Bruce's chin, and Bruce laughs again, squirming against Bucky. They stay there, trading soft kisses and ticklish touches, until the chill in the air alerts them to how much time has passed.

"Think our picnic is still there?" Bucky asks, looking back toward the clearing.

"Not likely." 

There are plenty of critters here in the forest that would willingly eat the sandwiches Bucky packed - although he holds out hope for the survival of the vegan cupcakes.

"Guess we better go find out."


	4. Chapter 4

Thankfully Sam and Natasha inform them that night that they're taking off on another mission, and so Bucky doesn't have to face Natasha's know it all gloating. He's glad she was right about how Bruce feels about him, but he doesn't need her to know it quite so soon.

For the next few days, Bucky feels like he’s in a dream, or a rom-com montage. Their daily routine doesn’t change much, but now when Bucky finishes his morning workout and finds Bruce for lunch, he’s greeted with a warm embrace. It’s amazing how it changes Bucky’s mood, knowing that Bruce welcomes his touch, whether it be a hand on his cheek as they kiss, or an arm around his waist as they walk down the street. They sit together on the couch to watch movies at night, Bruce massaging Bucky’s back, or cuddled up with Bucky’s head on Bruce’s chest, bare feet tangled together. 

At night they still go to their respective bedrooms, usually after a make-out session that lasts just long enough to keep them both wanting more. And oh, how Bucky wants… he’s dying to get his hands all over Bruce and tease that shy smile off his face. But for now, this is perfect.

The one morning Bucky comes out into their living area and finds Bruce perched on the edge of the couch, clearly waiting for him. By the look on his face, he isn't there to suggest a flirty coffee date.

"Dr. Mubaru called," Bruce says. "He wanted to know why you haven't returned his messages."

Bucky stiffens. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him he'd have to ask you." 

"Oh." Bucky tries to make himself relax. He has been avoiding Dr. Mubaru, no question, but he had hoped to continue avoiding him for the foreseeable future. And the last thing he wants to do is talk to Bruce about it.

Bruce stands and rubs the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. It's, um, a little awkward, him calling me as your doctor when we're..." 

"It's fine." It's not. It's weird, but he still doesn't want to talk about it. Bucky searches for the right words to get him out of this, but all he comes up with is a lame "I'm late for P.T." He tries not to see the hurt on Bruce's face as he books it out the door.

Needless to say, P.T. is less than productive. Bucky goes at it too hard, pulls a muscle in his side, and his therapist ends their session early, frowning and sending him to take a hot bath. Bucky pouts all the way back to his room, where he promptly throws himself face down on the bed and pouts some more. After a few minutes he gets tired of smelling his own sweat and gets up to shower, but he can't unscrew the cap of his new bottle of shampoo with one hand. Turns out slamming it into the side of the shower head doesn't work so well, either.

Twenty minutes later, he's dripping on the floor of their little kitchen, glaring at the coffee machine with his towel around his waist, when Bruce comes in. Bucky immediately hustles back into his bedroom, muttering something about needing to get dressed. He takes as long as he can reasonably spend finding a clean tank and wrestling on some jeans, then pads back out into the living room to face the music, feeling lousy.

Bruce is at the kitchen table, two cups of black coffee in front of him. His hair is disheveled, like he’s been running his fingers through it. Bucky grimaces and sits down next to him. This isn't going to get any easier.

"You know why Dr. Mubaru wants to talk to me," Bucky says. It's not really a question.

"I assume it has to do with your arm." Bruce is calmer than he has any right to be, and it makes Bucky wince. It's not great when you feel like you have the emotional capacity of a toddler compared to the man you're crushing on.

"Look, I'm really sorry about before," Bucky says, although he can hear that his tone isn't quite sincere.

"Obviously this is a source of anxiety for you."

No shit. "Could you maybe act a little less like my doctor, here?"

"How would you like me to act? Like the guy who you stormed out on this morning?" Bruce's voice is still calm, and it's pissing Bucky off.

"Maybe that would be a little more honest, yeah."

"If you're waiting for me to get angry, to justify getting angry back and shutting me out, it's not going to happen." Bruce puts a spoonful of some natural sweetener that Bucky has discovered doesn't taste at all like sugar in his coffee and stirs it. "I can't get angry. And I certainly am not going to get angry at you for acting less than politely when challenged about a stressful situation. But it would be nice if you could remember that I'm on your side, here."

Bucky simultaneously feels like he wants to throw a chair through the window and like he's about to cry. He turns to Bruce, ready to toss a snappy retort back at him, when something in Bruce's face shifts. Before he knows it, Bruce's arms are around him, holding him close.

It takes Bucky a minute to get with the program, but then he sags against Bruce, breathing in the scent of his herbal shampoo as he presses his face into his neck. "I'm really sorry," Bucky mumbles. "I'm a fucking idiot."

"You're not an idiot," Bruce says, rubbing a hand in circles on Bucky's back. "It's okay."

"It's not," Bucky protests. He squeezes his eyes tight, and feels his chest hitch. He wishes he could wrap _two_ arms around Bruce, and the thought just pushes him closer to the edge. 

Bruce threads his fingers through Bucky's wet hair and doesn't say anything about how Bucky is struggling not to cry, which Bucky appreciates almost as much as the way Bruce holds him so gently, like he's something precious rather than a moody former assassin lacking any purpose in life.

"Want to watch a movie?"

Bucky blinks up at Bruce, realizing that he no longer feels like bawling, and that they have apparently been clutching each other at the kitchen table for ten minutes or so. Not surprisingly, his pulled muscle still hurts.

"A movie?"

"Sure."

It's not even lunchtime." Bucky realizes the inanity of this argument as the words leave his mouth, but he figures Bruce will get it. They usually don't watch tv in the middle of the day - in fact, Bucky should really be heading to the gym about now.

“That’s okay.”

"You don't want to talk about...?" Bucky asks, shrugging his metal shoulder.

"If you want," Bruce says noncommittally. "Or, movie first, discussion about significant trauma later."

Bucky snorts out a bitter laugh. "I'll snap out of it. It's not that big a deal."

Bruce looks at him like he wants to wrap Bucky up in a blanket and keep him there all day, which, come to think of it, is kind of what he has just suggested. “What?”

"Bucky, don't ever let anyone tell you that. Including yourself. It is a big deal.”

For a moment it feels like Bruce is staring straight into his battered soul, and Bucky wants to duck and hide. Because having to make a choice about what to do with his missing metal arm has him paralyzed. When he thinks about it, his brain spins in circles.

Why should he get a new arm? Is it really necessary? As Bucky is now, as he's been since he came out of cryo, he's still an enhanced warrior. His skills are undeniable. And it much as it sucks, not having two arms, he wonders if maybe it's his due. If he doesn't deserve a replacement for the arm that made him into a deadly weapon, especially not the powerful vibranium model Dr. Mubaru has engineered for him.

He can’t imagine why the world would want to give him back such a weapon.

Bucky shakes his head and focuses on Bruce, who is still gazing at him with concern. “Yeah. Whatever.” He stands up and inclines his head towards the living area. “You’re right. A movie sounds good.”

Bruce nods and holds out his hand. Bucky lets Bruce lead him over to the couch and pick out a movie, not trusting himself to say anything more. After a few minutes he lies down with his head on Bruce's lap. Bruce pulls a blanket over them both and combs his fingers through Bucky’s hair. It’s incredibly soothing. Bucky closes his eyes, focuses on the feeling of safety and comfort, the warmth of Bruce’s leg under his cheek, and falls asleep.

Later, after dinner, in the middle of a conversation about whether to walk down to the new shaved ice place Sam told them about, Bucky suddenly can't keep it inside any more. 

"I don't know if I want it.”

Bruce doesn't ask what he's talking about, just takes his hand and threads their fingers together.

"I don't know if I _should_ have it," Bucky goes on, his voice trembling.

Bruce looks at him with sad understanding. "You're not obligated to." He puts a hand on Bucky's metal shoulder, follows it down to the temporary cap. "You can stay just the way you are. But don't say no just to punish yourself."

"Without the arm... it’s safer."

"Your arm isn't responsible for those killings. Neither are you."

"Do you really believe that?"

Bruce looks at him steadily, and for a moment Bucky wonders if the Hulk is in there too, weighing in on the question.

"Are we still talking about you?" Bruce asks.

Yup, the Hulk's in there.

"Is it the same thing, though, you and me?" Bucky asks. "'Cause I don't think it is. I've got a choice, now. Shouldn’t I use it? Shouldn’t I choose not to have a weaponized prosthetic."

"I don't think they built lasers or anything into it," Bruce says, with a touch of humor, before his voice takes a more serious tone. "The arm isn't the weapon, and you know that. And... no, you and I aren't the same. Not exactly. I can't choose not to have the other guy be a part of me. I tried, and it didn't work. But I can choose to do everything I can to control what he does. I can choose to stay home, when battles are being fought. Or I can join in. Those are the kind of choices that matter. And you can make them now, however you want. Having the new arm or not isn't going to change that."

Bucky shakes his head. “So you’re saying I’m always going to be the Winter Soldier, no matter what I do?”

Bruce looks pained. “No, Bucky. You’re not the Winter Soldier at all. That wasn’t you.”

Bucky taps his metal shoulder. “Evidence says otherwise.”

“You can get rid of it all, you know.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky feels a tremor run through him.

“The metal. I studied your scans, came up with a plan, before you woke up. There’s enough of your body left under the shoulder casing, if you wanted to remove all the metal plating. It would require several surgeries, some skin grafts… probably result in some weakening of the area, at least at first. There’d still be significant scarring, but you should retain function, and the muscles can be strengthened with rehab, although not necessarily up to your former strength. We could actually do better if I got Dr. Cho involved – she could likely rebuild some of the lost skin and tissue and heal some of the scars, but I didn’t want to contact her without your permission.”

Bucky clutches his metal shoulder, flexes his muscles underneath. Thinks about how it would feel to have skin there, on his chest, too, instead of cold metal. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I gave my results to Dr. Mubaru. I figured he’d tell you when you talked to him about your options.” Bruce huffs out a laugh. “I didn’t realize you were avoiding him.”

“Bruce.” Bucky stands up and paces around the kitchen. “Shit.”

“You don’t have to decide now, Buck.”

“I know, but…” Bucky takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, running his fingers over the metal on his chest. “I didn’t think… I could be normal, again. Less of a monster, or a robot. Less of what Hydra made me.”

Bruce comes over to Bucky and puts his hands on his shoulders. Bucky stills, thinking about the different way Bruce’s hands feel, on his skin and on the metal. 

“You’re perfect the way you are,” Bruce says softly. “This-“ Bruce places his palm over the metal on Bucky’s chest, slides his fingers under his tank to touch the edges of it where his skin is thickly scarred, “this doesn’t mean anything. It’s just surface. It doesn’t change you. And you, Bucky… you are strong, and brave, and altogether the most amazing person I know.”

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut, overwhelmed.

“But if you want to be rid of this, just say the word. I’ll help you. Or – if you want the new arm, I’ll be there for that, too. Whatever you choose, I’ll be there.”

“Will you come with me to see the doctor tomorrow? I think he’s been looking for me.”

Bruce smiles. “Sure, I’ll come with you.”

Bucky leans his forehead against Bruce’s, and Bruce’s arms go around his back. He feels Bruce’s breath puffing against his skin, and shuffles closer, his hand coming up to cup the back of Bruce’s neck. Bruce tilts his head and brings their lips together, softly at first, then with more intent.

They kiss for what seems like forever, Bucky getting more and more worked up. He runs his hand down the front of Bruce’s chest, around to his back, and then slides it up under his shirt. Bruce is doing the same to him, and soon both of them are twisting and pulling off their shirts, then pressing back together, skin on skin – and metal on skin, but Bucky even doesn’t care at this point. Bruce clearly doesn’t, and Bucky just wants Bruce close any way he can get him.

Bruce finally pulls back, breathing hard. “Bedroom?”

Bucky grabs his arm and they practically run into Bucky’s room, slamming the door behind them. Bruce climbs up on the bed and pulls Bucky after him, and they land in a pile, arms and legs tangled together.

Bruce squirms away from Bucky for a moment with a laugh, taking his glasses off and placing them more or less carefully on the night table. Bucky crawls over Bruce while he’s turned away, kissing up his back and nipping at his shoulder. The position puts Bucky’s hardening cock almost directly over Bruce’s ass, and Bruce rocks up into him, the pressure making Bucky gasp.

Bruce flips on to his back, and the look of pure delight on his face floods Bucky with happiness. “You’re fucking amazing,” Bucky murmurs, peppering his face with kisses.

“What’d I do?” Bruce slides a hand down to Bucky’s ass and tugs him closer, letting Bucky know he’s not the only one fully committed to this particular activity.

Bucky gets his hand into the waistband of Bruce’s drawstring pants and tugs. “Off?” Bruce raises his hips and lets Bucky do the honors, Bucky grinning as he brings Bruce’s boxers off with them. He kneels on the bed for a moment by Bruce’s feet, enjoying the view.

Bruce squirms a little, shy all of a sudden, and Bucky doesn’t waste any time taking off the rest of his own clothes (somehow this time having just one hand doesn’t slow him down too much) and flopping back down on the bed next to Bruce. They’re both on their sides, smiling like dopes, and Bucky rubs his nose against Bruce’s. 

“I’m really happy,” Bucky says, filter completely gone. He runs his hand down Bruce’s side, to the jut of his hipbone, and back up again. 

Bruce doesn’t make a joke about how he can tell just how happy Bucky is, just kisses Bucky, long and deep. “Me too.” Their kisses turn sloppier, more desperate, and Bucky throws a leg over Bruce’s hip, bringing them even closer. 

Bruce shifts them, pushing Bucky on to his back, and kisses down his neck, stopping to suck and tease, and then drags his mouth down his chest. When Bruce latches on to a nipple and gives it a little tug, Bucky moans with pleasure. Bruce keeps it up until Bucky is peaked and hard, then does the same to the other one. Bucky is trembling all over, clutching at Bruce wherever his hand can reach. He feels like he’s soaring.

Bucky wants to explore Bruce everywhere, maybe do the same to Bruce’s chest, but Bruce has other ideas. Bruce rolls them to their sides again and gets his hand around both of them, and Bucky decides he’s going to have to save worshipping Bruce’s body properly for another day. Bruce gets a rhythm going, stroking over and over, with just the right amount of friction. His breath is hot and damp as he pants into Bucky’s neck, and he’s making little incredible noises of appreciation. Bruce’s hand on him is a little dry at first, but not for long, and soon they are both crying out as they go over the edge, one after another.

Turns out Bruce likes to cuddle after sex, too, and isn’t that just the most wonderful thing. Bucky would think he’s died and gone to heaven, but his past near-death experiences haven’t been anything like this good.

——————————

_Six months later…_

_Dear Steve -_

_Sorry if this is a little rushed, T'challa just told me he could get a message through to you if I got it to him in the next twenty minutes._

_First of all, I can't believe you told Sam to get "the deets" on me and Bruce. Catching up with the times is one thing, sounding like a frat boy from a bad movie is quite another. But even though you're a dork, I'm gonna answer your question._

_Things with Bruce have been, and continue to be, awesome. He teases me about falling for an older man, although we can't really agree on which of us is older. Thanks for helping me get that book on Asgardian meditation practices for his birthday, by the way. From the look in his eyes you'd think no one ever gave him a decent birthday present._

_In answer to the question you asked in your last letter, I think for now the answer is no. I'm training and staying in shape, but I'm not ready to commit to fighting any bad guys right now. T'challa is having me spar with his soldiers to expose them to some different fighting styles, and I'm working with his sharpshooters, but I'm also getting kind of addicted to Wakandan yoga. And Bruce is enthralled by the research facilities here. It’s kind of nice to have this time just to be together, without any life threatening events adding unnecessary drama. Get back to me in a year or so, and we'll see. (Of course, if you actually ever really need me, you bet your ass I'll be there. Just send an interplanetary pigeon or something.)_

_Try and make it home sometime, pal. I miss you. And Bruce makes a tofu curry that'll knock your socks off._

_Yours always,_

_Bucky_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed my side trip into rare pair land... it was a lot of fun to write, and hopefully fun to read, too! I've got a new Stucky fic coming out soon, hope to see you there :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please, please let me know if you enjoyed this! I'm a Stucky fan through and through (and have a new Stucky fic I'm almost done with), but once this idea popped into my head I couldn't let it go - Bruce deserves a little Bucky love, too.
> 
> More is coming soon!


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